27 Dresses
At 38,000 feet, you’ll watch any in-flight movie put in front of you which is how I came to be watching the movie 27 Dresses which, if you haven’t seen it (and I hope to god you haven’t) stars Katherine Heigle as lonely New Yorker who has been a bridesmaid 27 times and James Marsden who goes on to write a fairly unflattering article about her for the fictitious New York Journal. Naturally they fall in love and live happily every after.
If after all this (this meaning, my recent life) I end up having a son, then I’m going to strap him down to a chair and make him watch one romantic comedy a month so that he knows the completely unrealistic expectations of women. If I have a daughter, I’m going to forbid her from ever seeing any movies staring Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts.
I am convinced that the main reason why men and women struggle to find common ground is that while men grow up farting, playing sports and watching ESPN, women are watching movies that that have Tom Cruise misting into the lens whispering, “You…Complete Me.”
Men don’t talk like that and I’m not sure they should. In my limited experience with the male species, a healthy relationship involves a woman who doesn’t nag and a man who consistently picks up after himself. If the sex is good and you get along with his family, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
I’m only an hour and a half into a four hour flight and I didn’t upgraded because one of the Arizona senators (the one who isn’t John McCain) is up there with his wife, so I got bumped to the exit row. I shot them a few dirty glances as I made my way the exit row which, all things considered, I should be grateful for. The fastest way to make an impact in revamping the airline industry is to have members of congress and the senate ride coach. In the middle seat.
Everybody Loves Raymond is a mean show. It’s like the complete opposite of 27 Dresses. I swear, if that was my marriage, I’d join the circus. I know it’s supposed to be funny, but if movies show relationships the way we’d like them to be and t.v. is a mirror to the way things really are, then there must be some really crappy marriages out there.
I’m going to run out of battery life (it’s the piece of crap Dell again)- and I’m not sure if I’ll post this. It’s pretty boring, actually.
I’m encountering my first struggle with self-censorship. I want to write about Mr. Wii but I can’t figure out how to do it. It’s not that I can’t be explicit- I’ve had several blog entries far more explicit in the re-telling than anything that I would write now. But it’s like I get tongue tied. I’ve started to write about him- but then I wind up deleting. I gave Mr. Wii the url and I know he gave it to a friend of his so maybe I’m feeling self conscious? Which is crazy. He’s a busy dude- not likely that he’s running to my blog every day to see if he gets a shout out.
Well, I have 4 flights this week to and from Grand Rapids which means I’ll have more time to sort this out and more times to watch random in-flight movies, perhaps wanting my own happy ending.
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