21 Years
I have two friends I lovingly refer to as “the supermodels”. They are both tall, blond and freakishly attractive. I know that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but each uses their respective superhero powers (boobs for one, long legs for the other) to fight crime and stop traffic. When we are together my superhero power is that of invisibility. The self-appointed sidekick, I’m the one the Wingman plies with drinks hoping against long odds that I’ll help him get his friend laid.
I kidnapped one of the supermodels (the one with the boobs is pregnant and about to deliver her second kid at any moment) late Friday afternoon as a belated birthday gift and we drove to the beach arriving at 1:30 in the morning. We caught a few hours of sleep and then went out to walk the boardwalk. The beach weather was perfect this weekend and we didn’t come off the sand until after 7:00 and that was only to take a 2 hour nap.
At 11:00pm or so we took a Redneck Cab (I am not making that up) to a bar that we later walked home from. We somehow managed to get seats and were through our first of several Rum Runners before the supermodel was approached by a Korean dude wearing a bright blue UCLA Jersey over a white t-shirt. He hit on the supermodel and because in addition to being absolutely gorgeous on the outside is perhaps one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known, she talked to him like his life in Chesapeake was the most fascinating story she’d ever heard.
The Korean got cock-blocked when these two guys started falling all over themselves to talk to the supermodel. Their names were Blaise and Chris but the first time Chris did a face-plant into my neck I privately nicknamed him “The Hoover”, knowing that I would blog about it later. I was fighting off the drunken and greatly beer-goggled advances of this 21-year old (TWENTY-ONE, 21, 21, 21) who hadn’t yet been born when I graduated from high school.
The supermodel and Blaise had to pull this guy off me so many times that that bartender asked if I was ok. I couldn’t stop laughing. Last call was at 1:45pm and by 2:00, the supermodel and I had successfully pried the Hoover off off my neck and sent the boys back to their hotel. A 3:00am text to the supermodel suggested that I had just missed out on the best 2 minutes of my life and that really, “age is just a number” and I “look 22″.
Funny that the pick-up lines haven’t changed in 21 years.



Nice job, sista. While Tigger was all over the golf course and the Celts weren’t winning titles, it turns out that YOU had the best game of the weekend. Well done and bravo. You should have hooked up with the Hoover though. That would have been THE ULTIMATE.
I sit here, a cheesy smile smeared across my face, thinking… 21!???????????
LMAO!!
LMAO… What a smile. It looks like he is squeezing the hell out of your boobs!! Lucky you!