“The Doctors” or “7 Hours I’ll Never Get Back”
I’ve been to 3 T.V. tapings: Meet the Press, Ellen and in what turned out to be a thwarted attempt at seeing Dr. Phil which is either taping or not taping right now depending on who you listen to, I went to a taping of a new show called The Doctors.
The best thing I can say about The Doctors is that I met the nicest family: Sally from Chattanooga her son Alton and his gorgeous wife, Janelle and Janelle’s spit-fire mother, Jackie all three of them from Houston. I met them outside of the studio and we became fast friends in part over our shared contempt for a young woman standing behind me loudly and badly singing a complete Disney montage confusing perhaps this taping with one for America’s Got Talent of which she certainly did not have. That’s the thing about LA: everyone thinks they are one step away from getting discovered. Somewhere between her rendition of “Be Our Guest” and “Part of Your World”, I inched close enough to this family to convince them that I was their long-lost white cousin for Washington, DC. They adopted me, even sharing their VIP passes which not only secured me a terrific seat for the taping but saved me from the Disney- Freak’s version of “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” shortly before her mother sang a Julie Brown cringe inducing “I Like Them Big and Stupid”. If you are wondering what all this singing has to do with seeing a t.v. taping- the answer is: nothing. These were just random people shooting for their 15 minutes of fame.
If you are a regular to Dr. Phil then you may have seen a segment that he did where he invited Travis Stork an ER Doctor (and former contestant on the Bachelor), Lisa Masterson, OBGYN, Andrew Ordon, Plastic Surgeon and James Sears, Pediatrician for an “Ask the Dr.” show. Dr. Phil’s son (or “spawn”, as my Mom likes to call him), Jay McGraw is the Executive Producer. The show comes from a good place in that there are millions of people in this country who are either un or under insured and that a show dedicated to emerging health issues should be successful.
My taping was only the 5th audience taping (the show premiers on September 8th) and is shot in the same studio as Dr. Phil (different set though as a die-hard Dr. Phil fan, I noticed some set pieces doing double duty.) These were the segments I saw:
o A sweet African-American 13 year old girl losing the pigment in her skin. Teased with names like “polka-dot” and “Dalmatian” she is biopsied on the fly and diagnosed with eczema
o Two LA socialites are given a new injectable filler for their laugh lines and their lips get plumped. Even from my seat in the 3rd row of the small studio, I can’t tell the difference between the before and after. But I make the appropriate oooh’s and ahhhs.
o A woman has a sleep disorder so severe that she is gripped with terror! A presence standing over her bed! Paralyzing fear! The taped piece shows her bedroom which has a life-size Buddha statue complete with water feature. It doesn’t take a Dr. to figure out that her inability to get a good night sleep is related to abysmal choices in home décor. She doesn’t need a Dr. She needs a decorator.
o Two college students are denied sleep and caffeine for over 30 hours before being put into a driving simulator. Hilarity ensues.
o The most disturbing piece is one where two blond women are introduced to us; one looks to be mid 40’s the other, early 30’s. Then we learn that they are mother-daughter and that the daughter is only 14 years old. She obsessively pets her new hair extensions while the taped piece reveals that she had 16 liters of fat liposuctioned out of her when she was only 12 years old. Then, when (what a shock), she gained 5 lbs back, her parents got her a lap band in MEXICO… because no Dr. in the US will do a lap band on a 13 year old child. Her hero is Anna Nicole Smith and she wants breasts to match. This segment was so over-the-top that it is sure to be the one heavily promoted in the weeks leading up to the September 8th premiere. I was aghast during most of this piece so look for me during the audience cut-aways with my mough agape. Or maybe I’m yawning. I can’t remember.
Through the magic of television, I am unsure as to whether the taping I saw will be part of one show- or several though the latter is more likely. If I were to guess as to the success of the show, I think it will be successful but that it will probably go through several more iterations before they lock on a format that works. At the end of the day, I think I’d have to file the show under “just because you can, doens’t mean you should“
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