Sarah Palin’s Family Needs Her More Than We Do…
When a pundit referred to leftists bloggers, I thought, hmmm they may actually be talking about me! Ha! As a heads up, I sent a link to the blog along with your collective comments to www.NBC4.com (what else, the local liberal news outlet!), your anonymity is safe of course but along with a little self promotion, I was thoroughly impressed with the collective comments, the majority of which were in complete dissent to what I wrote about Sarah Palin. All of the comments were thoughtful, well reasoned and far more respectful than I was in during the initial post. My heartfelt thank you for taking the time to contribute; it takes time and passion to contribute to someone else’s blog and I am grateful to have such a diverse and brilliant circle of readers, er uh family and friends.
This is a follow up to that blog and then I’ll lay to rest the subject of politics for, I don’t know, a week or so in order than I may spend some time delving into the other topic of my obsessions: rodents. Which bear an uncanny resemblance to both candidates in both parties.
My mom had me at the age of 20 which nearly 39 years ago wasn’t all that young really. Barak Obama made the point that his own mother had been only 18 years old when he was born. Given that women reach the age of sexual maturity as early as 9 years old, there are some countries that marry their children at age 11. I’m not going to argue how appalling that is, though if you are reading this and have young daughters, picture them having babies at the onset of menstruation, and then grab a wastepaper basket with both hand while you hurl your Wheaties.
But I digress…
My mom and I have talked about it over the years and apart from her profound love for me, had abortion been an option for her, it might have been something that she looked into. Don’t get me wrong, I am my mom’s very heart, but looking at this objectively, pretending that I’m NOT her daughter, detaching myself from the subject at hand, HER life would have turned out differently had she not had a baby at age 20. It limited her access to education, job opportunities and created a chasm between she and my grandmother that failed to bridge before my grandmother died in 1996.
I agree that Bristol Palin’s pregnancy is, at its core .a family issue that has no business as a political topic of conversation. The reason it matters to me and the reason that I’ve been obsessed with it is that her pregnancy is proof that there are specific ideologies that are part and parcel of the Republican party that don’t work, among them that teaching abstinence is a piss-poor excuse for sex education (As Sarah Palin advocates) and that when young people don’t have access to information about birth control, it can result in an unplanned pregnancy. From a purely statistical perspective, the likelihood that Brisol Palin will, at this early stage in her reproductive cycle have children with multiple baby-daddy’s troubles me. Surely we don’t think that marrying at 18, doing the “right thing” guarantees marital success? Forget the individuals for a moment and consider the likelihood of Bristol Palin remaining married to the same man when she’s 27, 37, 47 years old. Bristol has more than 30 years of reproductive health in front of her. As both an Obama-hater and bitter member of the left, I am tired… sick to death of the Republican Party touting that they are the party of family values. There is a complete and total lack of demonstrated family values in the Palin household that borders on neglect.
And while I could care less about an un-planned pregnancy with a neighbor or a friend, I care and I think it’s our right to care when it happens to someone who, by virtue of her candidacy for office, could be the next President of the United States. I expect more from her and I feel like I have a right to that. I hate her message of abstinence but would find it more tolerable, more believable even if that message had resonated with any success within her own family. If it doesn’t work for the candidate for Vice President, how in the world is it going to work for the 17 year old Hispanic girl from a broken home in downtown LA?
If I’m against the Iraq war, the Republican Party calls me unpatriotic. If I believe in a woman’s right to control her reproductive health, then I’m a baby killer. If I believe in the advancement and equality of all people regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation, then the I’m not a Christian. And the list goes on.
In my kindest moment, I’ll simply say this: Any person, man or woman who has both an infant child with special needs and a pregnant daughter is badly, even desperately needed by the family in a capacity that makes serving as Vice President both impractical and irresponsible. If she were my friend, I would urge her to evaluate her priorities and make decisions that are a benefit to both John McCain and more importantly, her family. In doing so, she proves the family values that are the cornerstone of the Republican Platform.
Finally, when I was in Florida, a good friend of mine, only 21 at the time found herself unmarried and pregnant. In relaying the news to my mom, I remember being upset and my mom, smurf-blue, surprised me by saying, “Jennifer, a baby is never a mistake”.
True, but a teenage pregnancy almost always is.
Well done, Java! There was a very thoughtful series of exchanges on a blog (Pittsburgh Mom) that I read in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette yesterday regarding the subject of “the pregnancy.” All the posts were written by mothers, most of whom felt exactly as you do. The comments were well written, and revealed the extent of the conflict mothers feel regarding career versus family. And, while many would say we as women can do it both, and do it successfully, that doesn’t negate the fact that mothers have emotional reactions to the issue. And, as a mother, it’s extremely difficult to imagine going back to work only three days after the birth of a child, let alone a special needs child. In today’s world of email, conference calls, and other electronic ways to work and communicate, it would be hard for me to argue that I physically needed to be in an office that soon after childbirth. Again, some of Sarah Palin’s personal choices make her decision-making processes seem (to me) to make her a less-than-ideal candidate for a vice president to someone who could be the oldest president elected. But, really, what the hell?!? I wouldn’t vote for John McCain, Sarah Palin or no Sarah Palin, if he were running for dog catcher! And, Java, I’m very saddened that you say you hate Obama. Save that kind of strong emotion for those who have truly hurt you — and those who love you dearly know exactly who I mean!!!
Like your post, don’t agree with a lot of it but it sounds a lot more like the Jen I know than the post from yesterday. All I have to say is that one has to be at least a little aware that a female candidate is once again being put to a different test than her male counterparts. That’s because ‘feminists’ per se are not advocates for all women, they’re advocates for women who are Democrats. Governor Palin has energized and enthused a campaign that was definitely not enthusing the conservative base before, and whether or not she appeals to the party on the other side is sort of irrelevant. While Obama was out spending his Senatorial years campaigning for the next job (seriously, how many office days has this guy logged in DC in his short time in office?), she was in the Governor’s seat running a state at the center of the energy issue with a $10 billion dollar budget. But that’s not enough, we feel we have a right to judge how she is wife and mother to her family too, even though we don’t ask that of male candidates. I’m not saying that of you so much as the media in general. Misogyny, plain and simple.
Well-stated, Jen. I disagree mostly in your focus of non-issues in the election, but we can agree to disagree here.
Being Libertarian-minded (AKA – promotion of rights over sanctions and pounding my “you can’t legislate against stupidity” drum) again, I am not thrilled with either party.
Sarah Palin: she was chosen to shore up base support McCain needed NOW for money AND to pick up the average never-been out of her town/state before West/Midwest voter. Period.
Her family: So what? Again, focusing on the real issues will help the cause a lot more LIKE her stance on privacy issues, regulations, national security (ever hear of a place called Russia who is flexing its muscles on neighbors-again – or how about Pakistan who is in the midst of major instability) those issues matter and impact a lot.
Women and rights: First, let’s cut the BS rhetoric I keep hearing about Palin “not being a feminist”. Last I checked, just because she has different views than other women (leftists) does not suddenly make her NOT a woman. All women are Feminists. We just are not all leftist. The real issue is her pattern of sanctioning rights across the board – not just for women, but for everyone. THAT to me is a problem.
The bigger issue: How this really all weighs in the scope of the election. She is running for VP – not President. Just as Biden, the typically troubled politician is running for VP – not president. (he happens to love regulation as well – really, he and Palin are the same creature – just offering sanctions and restrictions of freedoms at the opposite ends of the spectrum)
That leaves us with Baby Obama and Grandaddy McCain.
It also leaves – thank goodness – a system of checks and balances. Whomever is elected, despite the scare tactics we keep hearing otherwise, is not titles “dictator”. Rather, they will be “President”.
So it comes down to what impacts a President makes on their own. Can they pick the best cabinet? Can they delegate well? Can they listen to the right people for advice? I’m more interested in that than I am whose daughter got knocked up, if their kids are “normal” what they do in their own bedroom/house, and what opinions they have that will never really affect me in a legislative/judicial manner.
I bet she wishes she had encouraged sex education in schools now… it scares me to think she could become president in the event of McCain’s passing (I wouldn’t wish that on anyone!)
I find myself asking, “Which foot do we shoot our selves in?”
It would seem to make more sense to the average rational person to have the mentor in the driver’s seat and the protege in the back. Not the other way around.
Oh, fiddle dee dee. I don’t have a lot to say, but the comments and your blog require some kind of response from the MOM.
To restate the obvious: Pro choice does NOT mean pro abortion. The canyon created by the decision to make pro life an opposite shore to the pro choice position is far too…TOO.
I was talking to one of the doctors where I work. He stated what I considered to be a surprising position on several things Palin. First of all, he was critical of SP’s choice to have a baby that she knew was not going to be “normal.” Only secondarily was he bothered by the 17 year old pregnant daughter. The doc I am speaking of is Pakistani by birth. I wonder if Middle Eastern cultures share that pov? Anybody know?
Also, I told him about being preggers in 1969 without a clue or a plan. I told him that abortion had not yet been legalized but that I would not have had one anyway because from the moment I knew I was pregnant, “IT,” Java Girl, was a LIFE to me. You have always been LIFE to me. And don’t you forget it. Had I wanted an abortion, Mexico wasn’t that far away.
Over the last several days I have thought and thought about why the pregnancy of Sarah Palin’s daughter bothers me so much. Might I actually be more sexist than I imagined? Do I hold women in office to a different standard?
After much soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that the answe to each of the above two questions is a resounding NO.
First and foremost, I totally believe women can do it all — and should do it all. However, I also believe women, in the same way as men, must take responsibility for the decisions they make. If one decides to give birth to children (which, except for the man who was once a woman and kept his reproductive organs, is still exclusively a woman’s role), then one should take responsibility for those children. In so many ways. Whether or not there is a partner to help in the child rearing. I’m not questioning her decision to continue to work. I simply believe (and am I not entitled to my beliefs and opinions?) that it was a flawed decision on her part to physically return to her office just a few days after giving birth to a special needs child. And, if a political figure, male or female, feels their family members should not be a part of the political discussion, then don’t trot them out, point them out, and talk about how important they are to you and how your role as a parent is meaningful in the context of your candidacy. Once that’s happened, you cannot be surprised that the subject comes under scrutiny.
While it took me a while to sort out my feelings about the daughter’s pregnancy, I realize that it comes down to some things that do not in any way make judgments about this girl. My “judgments” are for Sarah Palin:
1. If she publicly and as an elected official espouses abstinence only sex education (a policy that statistics show is a gross failure), she opens herself up for scrutiny when that policy fails in her home.
2. If she wishes to champion this policy, and does not acknowledge the hard, painful evidence that unprotected sex leads to a huge increase in sexually transmitted diseases, she again must deal with the publicity that comes when a minor child in her care has been exposed to those dangers — and in large part because of her mother’s decisions and beliefs.
3. If this pregnancy (note I said pregnancy, not unborn child) is a gift from God, then why was there such an effort in the first days of Sarah Palin’s candidacy to make sure the pregnant daughter covered her abdomen with a blanket and her baby brother to hide the pregnancy? Was that an effort to mislead the public? Why was this fact not disclosed immediately, in a matter-of-fact way?
4. If this young couple is committed to “doing the right thing” (and I have a dozen arguments about the definition of the right thing — is it getting married at a painfully young age when all statistics show the vast majority of such marriages, especially those entered into because pregnancy is the deciding factor, fail? Is it getting married because pressure is being brought to bear? Is it the “right thing” to not be allowed to make a choice such as being a single mother or letting the child be adopted by a loving family who cannot have biological children?), then why weren’t they married as soon as the pregnancy became evident rather than the decision being made only after the national candidacy (let’s look good to the fundamentalist right!!!) of the baby’s grandmother? My heart goes out to the young man involved, as his choices are narrowly limited. He’s now in the unenviable position of getting married (doing the “right thing”) even if it’s not his desire to do so. The pressure on him is enormous — because the baby’s mother is a public figure who has been so vocal against reproductive choices.
5. Again, if the pregnancy is a gift from God, why did Sarah Palin support the lie in the beginning that her daughter had mono, rather than being upfront about the pregnancy? Was she hoping to hide it, and only disclosed it once she was running for national office and knew it must be addressed? So my heart breaks for the her child who is receiving such mixed messages of shame and support.
Last but not least on the sexism issue, I find it troubling that Sarah Palin is accusing her opponents and the media of being sexist, when she fully supports the wearing of smarmy buttons that declare her “hot.” Again, if your actions and positions make it clear where you stand, you cannot in good conscience blame others when they pick up on your lingering beauty queen mentality.
Hmmmm . . . another long blog from the False Auntie. Time to think about something more positive for a while. Which, by the way, could be that John McCain’s speech last night had a refreshing quality to it, was absent of the vitriolic claptrap of Sarah Palin’s speech, and made me feel I wouldn’t have to commit suicide if he became president (although I am praying that he will not, as his views are totally opposite from mine on many, but not all, issues). If only he had picked a great Republican candidate — how about Chuck Hagel? — as his choice for the VP slot, I might not be so vehement.
I just read another blog where a younger (younger than me, which is a LOT of people!) said they read the MySpace page of the father of Bristol Palin’s baby where he stated he didn’t want children. I wonder if that’s true. If so, the poor kid is going to pay dearly for those raging hormones!!!
On another note, I keep seeing the spin on Sarah Palin change. Here’s an example: In the first press releases about her, the stance was that she and her husband had “eloped to save money on a wedding.” That helps to support her fiscally responsible image, right? Now it’s just that she eloped (no mention of saving wedding costs) on August 29 and their first child Track (not a premature baby like little Trig) was born in early April of the following year. I’m waiting for the spin on this one to change to emphasize her commitment to “doing the right thing.” I really don’t give a damn if she was pregnant when she got married, but I do take exception to the less-than-honest way she’s portrayed — much like the less-than-honest way her daughter’s pregnancy has been addressed.
See this article in today’s KANSAS CITY STAR:
http://www.kansascity.com/entertainment/columnists/jenee_osterheldt/story/783549.html
And if her daughter had an abortion… would would the media say then. I think she should stay out of it. A 17 yr old understands the consequences and are responsible for her actions. She is the one who has to live with it just as much as her mother and father. Not to mention now the whole public.