Least Favorite Things
Things that should not be given as gifts.
1) Sexually transmitted diseases. It seems obvious but this is the one gift that keeps on giving that shouldn’t be exchanged and is therefore an excellent time to go to Costco and get the 244 pack.
2) Crocs, particularly the holiday editions which seem to have invaded Hallmark stores everywhere.
3) Holiday 3-Pack of “Blitzen” wine from World Market/ Cost Plus. This is an unacceptable hostess gift as it is utterly undrinkable as only a $1.99 can be.
3.5) Ferrero Roche chocolates. The commercials make it seem like you can’t knock on a single door during the month of December without a box of Ferrero Roche chocolates tucked into your Fendi bag. This is simply untrue. No one carries Fendi anymore.
4) Gloves. Nothing says, “I don’t like you” more than a pair of gloves. Particularly if they’re made by Isotoner.
5) Chia Pets are ok. The Garden Weasel is not.
6) Any perfume by Prince Matchabelli.
7) An engraved ornament, frame or pen set from Things Remembered.
Corporate Pink Slips
9) A Kenny G Christmas
10) A gift certificate to the jelly-of-the-month club
Hysterical — and SO true!
I am pleased to report I have not given any of the items you listed. (Insert a pat on my back here) but I have received other items I think should be added to the top 20. For instance, a vacuum cleaner, potting soil, and gasoline in my car should not “count” as Christmas gifts.
A new faucet for the kitchen shouldn’t count, either!!!
Be fprewarned — I have purchsed a lovely pair of Christmas crocs to wear the ENTIRE time you are here for the holidays . . .