JavaJennifer

Facebook continues to put me in the concentric circles of friends I’ve made in my life, most recently to the boy who was my first kiss.  He was I sophomore and I was in 8th grade and what would follow for the next two years was more drama then what either of us can believe now.  In this email exchange there was such sweetness and gave us both a chance to reflect on the turbulent times of our adolescence and the things that we were each battling at home.  Though I am by my closest friends penalized for dwelling in the past, it’s exchanges like the one he and I had this week that reaffirm the path I’m on now and I’m grateful to him for that.

Separate to this, I’ve had several blog related questions from my 13 faithful readers and though I would briefly review them now.

Mr. Wii and I were supposed to get together over the holidays when I was in California.  He pulled a disappearing act of sorts and when I couldn’t reach him, I went scortched earth, blocking him from being able to send me any emails.  We did talk on Friday for a few minutes and I learned that he’s having some professional challenges and a few family related ones as well.  If circumstances were different, I’d say that there may have been a future for us in some capacity.  But the reality of his living in Las Vegas and my not living in Las Vegas is such that to continue to see one another would keep us each from finding someone in our respective area codes to love.  I wish him only good things and know he wishes me the same.

While I was going all scortched earth, I also blocked Wikipedia’s email and deleted him from my cel phone as well.  He found me anyway and we had a lovely dinner together two weeks ago.  He’s on his way to something called Davos, which is some global economic summit I’m supposed to care about and our differences are greater than that which we have in common.  He is Mr. Nowhere-Near-Right for me.

Lao Loa said to me in an email to me yesterday that he tends to put the women he meets into one of three categories: friend, sister or potential lover.  It made me think of my own cataloging system which is a bit more brutal.  People are either good for me, in which case I welcome them and whatever baggage they carry into my life.  Or, they aren’t good for me, in which instance I revert to scortched earth policy and want nothing to do with them.  Of the latter category, there is probably nothing wrong with these people in and of themselves but that the combination of them and me (them and I?) is toxic.  Lao Lao is in the former category and demonstrates kind intuition.

The False Auntie’s sister is in the latter category;  I forgiver her but don’t want her in my life.  As for the Major, she didn’t do anything that warrants my forgiveness.  When she pushed away,  I didn’t beg for that friendship as I’ve done so many times before.  I wish her only good things.  And my Dad?  Too complicated to write about in my blog and out of respect for him, I won’t.

Bet the rest of you wonder how you get on that list, huh?

Then there’s my Va-Jay-Jay (sorry Ant) which while it doesn’t have any cancer coming out of it, probably won’t have a baby coming out of it either.  Since having children has been a great source of ambivlence, I can only assume that it is for the best.  I don’t want to somehow convey that I was making a date with the grim reaper but abnormal cells are abnormal cells.

Not one of my better posts, I know but such is life.  Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Tags: cancer, Facebook, Lao Lao, Mr. Wii, Wikipedia

This entry was posted by javajennifer on Saturday, January 24th, 2009 at 6:45 pm and is filed under Blog Blend. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.